Forgetting to take pills

Ok, now this is odd.

Its become a different sort of challenge. Now its not so much about not smoking, but rather, its about making sure I take those pills once in the morning and once at night.

The nausea after taking the pill has come back, which is annoying. But the more I think about it, its like I think I don't need them anymore since the cravings are already gone. I'm almost halfway through the 12-week course now and have been told that I have to complete it or relapsing becomes much easier.

Gotta do some mind exercises all over again. I don't want to fail!

Three weeks

No, I haven't started smoking again.

Sorry to burst your bubble!

But to own up here, I've had to spend some time away due to family matters. I've also unfortunately either forgotten or missed a few doses of the pills so I think instead of 90 days this might take a 100 days.

As I was telling a friend yesterday when intoxicated with alcohol. If my cravings for a cigarette pre-quitting was 20 on a scale of 1-10, its now maybe 2 on that same scale. What I haven't tested myself with yet is to be with a whole table of smokers while drinking. Now that would be interesting.

Weight gain

Yep, it happened.

My usual weight fluctuates between 68-70kg. As of earlier this week, I've weighed in at 72.1kg. Another weigh in earlier today still sees me at 72.1kg.

This is of course unusual for me. I've never gained weight in any meaningful way, always the butt of jealous remarks from female friends and never had to get new clothes just because I've gained a couple of inches around the waist.

There is the oft-quoted reason about why people smoke, that is to keep your weight down since nicotine serves as an appetite depressant. Believe me, that was merely an unintended side-effect for me. I already had an insane metabolic rate during my late-teens.

What does this mean? I need to exercise, slow down on the carbs and probably drink a lot less beer, haha. I'm entirely unsure what my metabolism rate is like without nicotine.

Here's hoping I don't go past 75kg.

Almost two weeks!

Apart from the cravings that come and go and are not so intense anymore, nothing much to report. Its almost anti-climatic. What was I expecting?

To be honest, I was expecting an uphill battle all the way... It seems that once your mind is more or less made up, there's a lot less fighting to do.

I remember the last time I tried to quit, I would still inevitably go and buy a pack of cigarettes. And that's why it was that much harder to quit, because of the easy access.

Now I see a pack of cigarettes and go "Meh..."

Standing back though, I think its just a matter of making your mind up to quit and setting a reasonable deadline to get to the point where you're ready to stop. For me, I did tell myself 30 years old. And that was many years back after I failed a couple of times. I turned 30 a few months back, so looks like its going well.

The big One Zero soon

Almost 10 days smoke free.
The urge to count - bad or good thing? I can't figure it out. I hope at some point I'll just stop counting and remember the date I stopped, easier that way!

Just a few observations in the past few days:
- Hardly anymore nausea after taking the pill

- The cravings I have when drinking alcohol now is almost non-existent

- There are still periods of time when I do crave for one, especially if I'm sleepy in the afternoon

- I feel much more energetic, I'm doing a lot more chores and there isn't that "couldn't be bothered" feeling anymore

- Appetite has increased substantially and food does taste better. I don't feel that much heavier but obviously this will have to be kept in check, I'm setting a limit of 5kg up from present weight of 70kg.

- Seem to be coughing quite a bit and lots of mucous in the morning, apparently this is because my lungs are healing.

A week goes by...

How do I feel?

Weird mostly, cravings aside. I try to articulate the feeling but its difficult. The closest I can come to is perhaps it being similar to losing a very big part of your life.. an arm, a partner, etc.

I guess it stems from time spent with the habit of smoking.

Ten sticks a day for 13 years. If you take five minutes per stick as an average, that means I've spent 237,250 minutes of my life smoking. Break it down further that's almost 165 days spent smoking and the rest of the time not smoking spent thinking about smoking.

So, finding things to do/keeping occupied is probably one of the most important aspects of quitting smoking. Thankfully I have a job, but unfortunately being at work itself is one huge smoking cue.

Here's to one more week!

Six days!

Tomorrow this time it'll be a week. Yay?