Ok, now this is odd.
Its become a different sort of challenge. Now its not so much about not smoking, but rather, its about making sure I take those pills once in the morning and once at night.
The nausea after taking the pill has come back, which is annoying. But the more I think about it, its like I think I don't need them anymore since the cravings are already gone. I'm almost halfway through the 12-week course now and have been told that I have to complete it or relapsing becomes much easier.
Gotta do some mind exercises all over again. I don't want to fail!
Have been smoke-free for two years. Officially stopped on July 30 2011 and used Champix to survive the withdrawal symptoms. It was my 4th attempt to quit smoking.
Friday 26 August 2011
Friday 19 August 2011
Three weeks
No, I haven't started smoking again.
Sorry to burst your bubble!
But to own up here, I've had to spend some time away due to family matters. I've also unfortunately either forgotten or missed a few doses of the pills so I think instead of 90 days this might take a 100 days.
As I was telling a friend yesterday when intoxicated with alcohol. If my cravings for a cigarette pre-quitting was 20 on a scale of 1-10, its now maybe 2 on that same scale. What I haven't tested myself with yet is to be with a whole table of smokers while drinking. Now that would be interesting.
Sorry to burst your bubble!
But to own up here, I've had to spend some time away due to family matters. I've also unfortunately either forgotten or missed a few doses of the pills so I think instead of 90 days this might take a 100 days.
As I was telling a friend yesterday when intoxicated with alcohol. If my cravings for a cigarette pre-quitting was 20 on a scale of 1-10, its now maybe 2 on that same scale. What I haven't tested myself with yet is to be with a whole table of smokers while drinking. Now that would be interesting.
Sunday 14 August 2011
Weight gain
Yep, it happened.
My usual weight fluctuates between 68-70kg. As of earlier this week, I've weighed in at 72.1kg. Another weigh in earlier today still sees me at 72.1kg.
This is of course unusual for me. I've never gained weight in any meaningful way, always the butt of jealous remarks from female friends and never had to get new clothes just because I've gained a couple of inches around the waist.
There is the oft-quoted reason about why people smoke, that is to keep your weight down since nicotine serves as an appetite depressant. Believe me, that was merely an unintended side-effect for me. I already had an insane metabolic rate during my late-teens.
What does this mean? I need to exercise, slow down on the carbs and probably drink a lot less beer, haha. I'm entirely unsure what my metabolism rate is like without nicotine.
Here's hoping I don't go past 75kg.
My usual weight fluctuates between 68-70kg. As of earlier this week, I've weighed in at 72.1kg. Another weigh in earlier today still sees me at 72.1kg.
This is of course unusual for me. I've never gained weight in any meaningful way, always the butt of jealous remarks from female friends and never had to get new clothes just because I've gained a couple of inches around the waist.
There is the oft-quoted reason about why people smoke, that is to keep your weight down since nicotine serves as an appetite depressant. Believe me, that was merely an unintended side-effect for me. I already had an insane metabolic rate during my late-teens.
What does this mean? I need to exercise, slow down on the carbs and probably drink a lot less beer, haha. I'm entirely unsure what my metabolism rate is like without nicotine.
Here's hoping I don't go past 75kg.
Friday 12 August 2011
Almost two weeks!
Apart from the cravings that come and go and are not so intense anymore, nothing much to report. Its almost anti-climatic. What was I expecting?
To be honest, I was expecting an uphill battle all the way... It seems that once your mind is more or less made up, there's a lot less fighting to do.
I remember the last time I tried to quit, I would still inevitably go and buy a pack of cigarettes. And that's why it was that much harder to quit, because of the easy access.
Now I see a pack of cigarettes and go "Meh..."
Standing back though, I think its just a matter of making your mind up to quit and setting a reasonable deadline to get to the point where you're ready to stop. For me, I did tell myself 30 years old. And that was many years back after I failed a couple of times. I turned 30 a few months back, so looks like its going well.
To be honest, I was expecting an uphill battle all the way... It seems that once your mind is more or less made up, there's a lot less fighting to do.
I remember the last time I tried to quit, I would still inevitably go and buy a pack of cigarettes. And that's why it was that much harder to quit, because of the easy access.
Now I see a pack of cigarettes and go "Meh..."
Standing back though, I think its just a matter of making your mind up to quit and setting a reasonable deadline to get to the point where you're ready to stop. For me, I did tell myself 30 years old. And that was many years back after I failed a couple of times. I turned 30 a few months back, so looks like its going well.
Tuesday 9 August 2011
The big One Zero soon
Almost 10 days smoke free.
The urge to count - bad or good thing? I can't figure it out. I hope at some point I'll just stop counting and remember the date I stopped, easier that way!
Just a few observations in the past few days:
- Hardly anymore nausea after taking the pill
- The cravings I have when drinking alcohol now is almost non-existent
- There are still periods of time when I do crave for one, especially if I'm sleepy in the afternoon
- I feel much more energetic, I'm doing a lot more chores and there isn't that "couldn't be bothered" feeling anymore
- Appetite has increased substantially and food does taste better. I don't feel that much heavier but obviously this will have to be kept in check, I'm setting a limit of 5kg up from present weight of 70kg.
- Seem to be coughing quite a bit and lots of mucous in the morning, apparently this is because my lungs are healing.
The urge to count - bad or good thing? I can't figure it out. I hope at some point I'll just stop counting and remember the date I stopped, easier that way!
Just a few observations in the past few days:
- Hardly anymore nausea after taking the pill
- The cravings I have when drinking alcohol now is almost non-existent
- There are still periods of time when I do crave for one, especially if I'm sleepy in the afternoon
- I feel much more energetic, I'm doing a lot more chores and there isn't that "couldn't be bothered" feeling anymore
- Appetite has increased substantially and food does taste better. I don't feel that much heavier but obviously this will have to be kept in check, I'm setting a limit of 5kg up from present weight of 70kg.
- Seem to be coughing quite a bit and lots of mucous in the morning, apparently this is because my lungs are healing.
Sunday 7 August 2011
A week goes by...
How do I feel?
Weird mostly, cravings aside. I try to articulate the feeling but its difficult. The closest I can come to is perhaps it being similar to losing a very big part of your life.. an arm, a partner, etc.
I guess it stems from time spent with the habit of smoking.
Ten sticks a day for 13 years. If you take five minutes per stick as an average, that means I've spent 237,250 minutes of my life smoking. Break it down further that's almost 165 days spent smoking and the rest of the time not smoking spent thinking about smoking.
So, finding things to do/keeping occupied is probably one of the most important aspects of quitting smoking. Thankfully I have a job, but unfortunately being at work itself is one huge smoking cue.
Here's to one more week!
Friday 5 August 2011
Thursday 4 August 2011
You take it twice a day!
Wow, its been 4 and a half days. Wonder how long it'll be before I stop counting. Was quite a novelty counting time but it might become tedious in the long-run.
Anyway just to make something clear. This is not a cold-turkey quit blog. I did not quit cold-turkey as I had mentioned in the first couple of postings. I'm using a drug called Champix, or Chantix as its known in the US.
I'm also not being paid by Pfizer, the manufacturer, (would be nice though!) or neither is this blog meant to promote Champix as the preferred way to quit smoking. Each person is unique and you definitely can't take a cookie cutter approach to quitting. Some prefer counseling, acupuncture or hypnosis. The more traditional route would be nicotine patches or gum.
I've tried the patches/gum, counseling and cold turkey. Perhaps not enough will power which is why I figured this drug might work. Anyway for those that want to know more, read on!
How it works?
The drug in its most basic sense blocks nicotine from reaching the specific receptors in the brain that derive pleasure from nicotine. Hence there is no more pleasure from inhaling a cigarette. Concurrently, it also takes the "edge" off withdrawal symptoms such as the mood swings, agitation and being short-tempered , etc.
Dosage
Twice a day orally for 12 weeks. The first two weeks are small doses (1mg per day) meant to build up the presence of the drug in your body. Ideally, no more cigarettes from the 14th day onwards. Once week 3 comes around, its ramped up to 2mg per day and cigarettes should start to be quite disgusting by then.
Little blue pills. Sun and moon icons behind each pill because smokers can't tell time...
Cost
Most GP clinics would sell it. I got mine for RM165 for the starter pack (the first two weeks) and each subsequent two-week packs after that is RM175. Total cost for the 12-week course: RM1,040
Side effects
Nausea is most common. Usually immediately after taking the drug. Others may experience dream pattern changes, constipation, gas and vomitting. What's also been reported is that a very small minority experience psychological changes and end up being depressed or start to entertain suicidal thoughts. This of course means Champix is not meant for them.
Anyway just to make something clear. This is not a cold-turkey quit blog. I did not quit cold-turkey as I had mentioned in the first couple of postings. I'm using a drug called Champix, or Chantix as its known in the US.
I'm also not being paid by Pfizer, the manufacturer, (would be nice though!) or neither is this blog meant to promote Champix as the preferred way to quit smoking. Each person is unique and you definitely can't take a cookie cutter approach to quitting. Some prefer counseling, acupuncture or hypnosis. The more traditional route would be nicotine patches or gum.
I've tried the patches/gum, counseling and cold turkey. Perhaps not enough will power which is why I figured this drug might work. Anyway for those that want to know more, read on!
How it works?
The drug in its most basic sense blocks nicotine from reaching the specific receptors in the brain that derive pleasure from nicotine. Hence there is no more pleasure from inhaling a cigarette. Concurrently, it also takes the "edge" off withdrawal symptoms such as the mood swings, agitation and being short-tempered , etc.
Dosage
Twice a day orally for 12 weeks. The first two weeks are small doses (1mg per day) meant to build up the presence of the drug in your body. Ideally, no more cigarettes from the 14th day onwards. Once week 3 comes around, its ramped up to 2mg per day and cigarettes should start to be quite disgusting by then.
Little blue pills. Sun and moon icons behind each pill because smokers can't tell time...
Cost
Most GP clinics would sell it. I got mine for RM165 for the starter pack (the first two weeks) and each subsequent two-week packs after that is RM175. Total cost for the 12-week course: RM1,040
Side effects
Nausea is most common. Usually immediately after taking the drug. Others may experience dream pattern changes, constipation, gas and vomitting. What's also been reported is that a very small minority experience psychological changes and end up being depressed or start to entertain suicidal thoughts. This of course means Champix is not meant for them.
Wednesday 3 August 2011
Almost 3.5 days, smoky dreams
Yep, it had to happen. I had a really vivid dream last night about having a cigarette. Even to the point where I could taste and smell it. I woke up craving and imagining the acrid taste that accompanies the first cigarette one has after a long time.
I'm glad I don't have cigarettes on me anymore. My last pack of cigarettes ran out last week. This is tough, even with the drug.
I'm glad I don't have cigarettes on me anymore. My last pack of cigarettes ran out last week. This is tough, even with the drug.
Tuesday 2 August 2011
Still clean, cravings and other notes
Yep, 60 hours. It still feels odd.
Have noticed peak craving happens between 2-6pm. This is when I gnaw at my tongue, take lots of deep breaths and drink too much water. Chewing gum? Thanks to 2 years of braces and the stress that chewing gum causes to your braces and your dentist, I ended up hating it.
The nausea I feel after taking the pill is also less intense now, which is a good thing, although it does create at least one big burp (also a good thing!)
Dreams, lots of them
However the one thing that has not gone away and is the same as the last time I took Champix are the incredibly vivid dreams. Don't ask me what I'm dreaming about, because I simply don't remember once I wake up. Maybe fragments but my description would definitely not do justice to the actual experience. The bad memory retention is likely because I'm someone who rarely dreams in the first place. This drug makes all the difference.
When I say vivid, it just seems like all my senses are alive. And if I correctly understand what lucid dreaming is, there seems to be an element of that as well. As a result, I wake up most mornings feeling very tired as I feel that my brain didn't really rest. Am getting used to it though, only 9 weeks to go!
Have noticed peak craving happens between 2-6pm. This is when I gnaw at my tongue, take lots of deep breaths and drink too much water. Chewing gum? Thanks to 2 years of braces and the stress that chewing gum causes to your braces and your dentist, I ended up hating it.
The nausea I feel after taking the pill is also less intense now, which is a good thing, although it does create at least one big burp (also a good thing!)
Dreams, lots of them
However the one thing that has not gone away and is the same as the last time I took Champix are the incredibly vivid dreams. Don't ask me what I'm dreaming about, because I simply don't remember once I wake up. Maybe fragments but my description would definitely not do justice to the actual experience. The bad memory retention is likely because I'm someone who rarely dreams in the first place. This drug makes all the difference.
When I say vivid, it just seems like all my senses are alive. And if I correctly understand what lucid dreaming is, there seems to be an element of that as well. As a result, I wake up most mornings feeling very tired as I feel that my brain didn't really rest. Am getting used to it though, only 9 weeks to go!
Monday 1 August 2011
48 hours, no smoke
The 2 day mark. I hear that the first week is the toughest. So Five more days to go.
Meanwhile, updated the About Me part so there's more clarity at a glance. I'll include a FAQ link there at some point.
Day 6 - Breakthrough!
Woah, I missed out a few days of updates. Here's a summary:
Day 3, Friday, July 29
One stick @ 10pm
Day 4, Saturday, July 30
Drunken stupor for more than half the day because of friend's wedding - 1 stick @ 10pm
Day 5, Sunday, July 31
Did not smoke at all
Day 6, Monday, August 1
37.5 hours and counting since I didn't have a cigarette. Feels weird!
Day 3, Friday, July 29
One stick @ 10pm
Day 4, Saturday, July 30
Drunken stupor for more than half the day because of friend's wedding - 1 stick @ 10pm
Day 5, Sunday, July 31
Did not smoke at all
Day 6, Monday, August 1
37.5 hours and counting since I didn't have a cigarette. Feels weird!
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